sol18: it's okay to cry

Being a parent requires an insane amount of patience, love, and understanding. It's the best and hardest job in the world. It means mistakes will be made, tantrums will be had, but happiness and forgiveness will be the reward. 

James's {big} personality has been taking center stage lately and we love it. Our days are filled with dancing, singing, reading, exploring outside, hide and seek, laughing, trying new foods, you name it. He LOVES life so much and because of this, he never wants to stop doing what he loves!

Yesterday, I picked him up from my in-laws and he was outside swinging with "Ba" (Grandpa). Each time Grandpa would stop the swing, James would sign, "More, more." I let him keep going for another minute or so, but since it was almost dinner time, we had to stop.

As I went to pick him up of the wooden swing, he burst into tears. His little bottom lip quivered, and his brows wrinkled downward. His face was bright red, tears flowing down his face, and he kept reaching back toward the swing as we walked to the car. I held him tightly and whispered in his ear, "I know you're sad because you can't swing anymore, and it's okay to cry."

He cried as I got him buckled in the car seat, and I kept saying, "It's okay to cry, I know you're sad because you had to stop swinging." I set a book on his lap, we pulled out of the driveway, and he was calm and happy by the time we got to the corner.

Parenting is hard work. Sometimes we don't always know what to say or do. One thing I do know is that I will never tell James to "Stop crying." Crying is a way for this innocent child to express his emotions, and I never want him to feel like his emotions of sadness, frustration, or anger aren't worth expressing. Yes, it breaks my heart to hear him cry, but telling James that it's okay to cry and express his feelings actually calms him down quicker. :)

I know that I have a lot left to learn and experience as a parent, but I'm hoping this approach will guide James through life without fear of coming to me when he needs something, is frustrated, angry, or sad.

before the tears :)

sol18: always cold

"What do you want for Christmas?" my husband asked.

"A heated blanket." I answered in a joking tone (even though I was super serious).

I'm always cold. Even when it's 75 out, I still wear a jacket or long sleeves.

2 days later...

"What's in that box?"

"Your heated blanket! I figured I would order one so you could start using it right away!"

Every night since, I've been using that heated blanket and an extra blanket on top. Even last night when the temp topped out at 55 degrees outside, I still needed my heated blanket turned on to a 5. ;)

sol18: feeling coachy

There we were, sitting at my round table talking all things early literacy: what characteristics we see in early level text, how to teach CVC words, the weird schwa sound, how butterfly kits will fit in with our standards/next unit of study; We watched a video of a student sharing her writing (chills), and this teacher helped me pick out some resources we would need for next year.

We scheduled our meeting for a half hour (ending at 2:20), but we were so deep in conversation that neither of us realized that the clock read 2:43!

This is my first year as a literacy coach and some days I leave work feeling more coachy than other days. Today is one of those days. :)

sol18: a mother's intuition

When I was pregnant with James, we kept his gender a surprise. People would constantly ask if I had any inclination whether it was a boy or a girl. I never did. Some weeks I felt stronger that the baby growing inside me was a girl, and some weeks, I felt it was for sure a boy.

I would go back and forth for almost the entire 9 months, until the day before he was born. I was pacing the house making sure everything was in it's place. I walked into the baby's room to sit in the rocker and I vividly pictured a little boy in my arms. I looked over at the changing table and could envision myself changing a boy. I stood up to take a peek at the crib and pictured a baby boy sleeping soundly in there. I went down to practice pushing the stroller and visualized taking a boy for a walk around the neighborhood. The mama-roo in our living room, I imagined a little boy softly rocking.

Everything I came across that day, a baby boy was attached to it. That was my very first case of mother's intuition. <3

sol18: waffle day

It's the best morning of the week around here because Saturdays are waffle days! As Jim is mixing the batter and making bacon, I'm playing with James in the living room. The smell begins to make its way over to us and James yells, "Waf!" 

We get our hands washed, James strapped into his chair, and Jim plates us our beautiful waffles. I hear James say, "Mmmmm..." as he's eating, and a little smirk comes across his face. 

We stuff our faces full, and our bellies remain that way until well into the afternoon. 

Waffle day is the best day. 

sol18: FRI-YAY!

Parcc testing is complete, my husband is home, AND we ordered fries for lunch. Enough said. It really is FRI-YAY! 

sol18: christmas morning

I woke up 15 minutes before my alarm went off, excited and full of anticipation. I got ready with a little more pep in my step, and tidied up some loose ends around the house.

I looked at the clock - only 6 a.m. James was still sound asleep. I cracked an egg into a pan, made some toast, and actually sat down for a hot breakfast. I checked my weather app, only 27 degrees, but I didn't care. I scrolled through some of my other apps trying to pass time.

As I enjoyed the last sips of my coffee, my phone screen lit up.

It's like Christmas morning. :)

sol 18: I wonder...

I wonder if I'll hit traffic on my way home.
I wonder how truck drivers can drive these big things with confidence.
I wonder if James will be up when I get home.
I wonder what I'll make for dinner.
I wonder when there will be no more yellow taxis.
I wonder when the grass will turn green.
I wonder if Jim's flight will be on time tomorrow.
I wonder why that guy honked.
I wonder what that construction is for.
I wonder if it's too cold to go for a walk.
I wonder if I stopped at that stop sign.


All these things I wonder... on my 35 minute drive home.

sol18: major mom fail

James was tucked in his chair gobbling down blueberry pancakes with his fork. I was in the kitchen flipping the next batch, admiring how golden brown they were. Then, I hear it. 

Drip... drip... drip...

I look over our breakfast bar to see that James had stretched his arms across the table and grabbed hold the maple syrup, which I left the cap off of (face palm). He so proudly had it upside down in his hands. All 10 ounces of the sticky contents were in his lap, soaking him down to his diaper. The syrup and seeped into the crevices of his booster chair, through the little holes in our metal chairs, and was now forming a nice puddle on the floor.

I remained calm (something that I'm proud of), took the syrup bottle out of his hands (which greatly disappointed him), and mentally planned out the cleanup process.

Luckily the bath off our dining room is in good view of the syrup puddle, so I started the water and threw James in. He happily played in there while I got lots of towels, warm water, and cleaner.

It was quicker than I thought and we were all good as new a mere 10 minutes later. I'm sure I'll come across some sticky spots as the day goes on, but lesson learned - close everything tightly and leave it out of reach (even further than you think)!

sol18: the rubber chips

"Stop throwing those!"
"Leave them on the ground."
"Take them out of your pocket!"
"Stop burying yourself in them!"
"Don't bring those inside!"
"Why do you have that in your mouth?"

I don't know what it is about the rubber chips on the playground, but the kids are obsessed with them. They like to cover themselves and fill their pockets with the tire chips like they are some kind of currency. Everyday during recess duty, my coworker Jess and I say all of the above statements... sometimes two or three times each during a twenty minute timespan. I won't ever understand the fascination behind them. They are dirty, germy, and I hate to even walk in them!

sol18: weekend naps

I close James's door, turn on the monitor, quickly tidy up his toys, and I settle in on the couch. HGTV is on, my cozy blanket covers me, I take a few deep breaths, and before I know it, I'm fast asleep. 

I've always enjoyed weekend naps. But I think I enjoy them even more now. :)

sol18: fresh flowers make my home feel cleaner

Part of my weekly Mariano's trip involves a swing through the flower department to pick out a bouquet or two. I don't know why, but fresh flowers always make me feel like our home is more put together, tidier, cleaner, I don't know... Does anyone else get me on this?

As I was perusing the buckets to see which ones we should settle on for this week, I noticed a gorgeous bouquet of Ranunculus. These are right up there with my other favorites, tulips. The soft peach color stood out to me, along with the one huge bloom that I couldn't say no to. I held them up to James for approval, he immediately stuck his hand out to touch the petals, and they went into our cart. 

I haven't cleaned a single thing today, but these fresh flowers make my home feel like I did!

sol18: tales of a wife with a husband who travels & works from home (part 2)

Ding, ding, ding, the sound of the soft alarm at 3:20 a.m. waking my husband up for his 5 a.m. flight. He always sets the quietest alarm in hopes that I won't hear it. However, I had already been up since 2:45 anticipating the alarm, so I leaned over, said good morning, and we both got up together. We've been doing this long enough now that on early flight days, I can't fall back asleep. So, I get up with him.

I sipped slowly on coffee and did some writing while Jim got his last minute packing done. We hugged goodbye and I cried my eyes out. Seven days without each other, the longest we've been apart since marrying 5 years ago. I watched the cab drive off, cried some more, and tried my hardest to pull myself together to get ready for the day. I'm never the same when he's away...

sol18: if you need me, I'll be reading in my tee-pee

Dinner finished up, we were frantically trying to get things ready for the next 7 days without "DaDa," and then we noticed... James had snuck off to his room for some quiet time.

We peeked around the corner and saw the most beautiful sight we would see all day (maybe all week). Our little boy was hiding out in his tee-pee, escaping the hustle and bustle of kitchen clean-up, to read. Oh. my. word.

We sat and stared as he turned the pages of one book, finished it, threw it to the side, started another, pointed at some words, started counting (1, 2..., 1, 2...) and our hearts exploded.

Why hasn't anyone figured out how to freeze time? All I ever wanted was sitting right there. In this tee-pee. So innocent and absolutely adoring all his books.

sol18: when you know better, you do better

"When you know better, you do better."

This quote rings true in a lot of aspects of life, but lately for me, it's been living a "cleaner" lifestyle. I always thought I was a pretty healthy person - watching what I eat/eating unhealthy things (mostly) in moderation, until I had a baby. I started to learn that living a healthier lifestyle meant a lot more than just the foods we eat.

I began to research what a "cleaner" home looks like and found things like always removing your shoes at the door (think about where your shoes have been throughout the day - kinda gross), using safer cleaning products that don't contain toxic chemicals, using wool dryer balls instead of dryer sheets, using safer skincare for all of us, making sure James's toys don't contain harmful toxins since he tends to put lots of them near and in his mouth, not burning scented candles (this one is hard since I love them!), making sure our furniture doesn't contain the toxic flame retardant chemical, and the list goes on...

It would have been very overwhelming, and I would have gone crazy trying to do all of this at once, but the more I found out about toxic items in our home, the more intentional I became about replacing them. We are far from living a perfectly clean lifestyle, but the more I know, the better I do!

sol18: dinner lasts a little longer on tuesdays

My in-laws come over and watch James almost every day, so we've made it a tradition to have them stay for dinner on Tuesdays.

James loves to slide our extra seating bench up to the dining table (haha), we usually make something a bit more "fancy," and we actually use real napkins.

We eat slower, talk more, laugh more, and relax more. Dinner lasts a little longer on Tuesdays.

sol18: drive thru conversations

Part of my morning routine is a swing through Starbucks drive thru to get my beloved iced caramel coffee with coconut milk. For about 5 months straight, I always got the grande. Then late January, James got 3 molars in a matter of 10 days. He was up in pain a couple times each night (poor babe). Of course, that means I'm up, too, but for much longer than he is. Even when he drifts off to dreamland, I'm still wide awake worrying about him.

After one of these teething episodes, I ordered a Venti for the first time. The employee noticed and asked if everything was ok because I normally get the grande. I responded with yes, just tired from a teething baby. She empathized, wished me luck, and sent me on my way.

The next morning (after a somewhat sleepless night), I pulled through the drive thru and ordered the Venti again. The same woman as the day before asked how my son was doing. We engaged in a quick conversation and again, she wished me well. How nice of her to stop her busy order-taking morning to check in with me about my little guy. We all know that Starbucks employees pride themselves on their quickness, but a little personal conversation goes a long way.

P.S. I'm still ordering the Venti. Even though I rarely finish it!

sol18: what wakes you in the middle of the night?

I completely forgot to slice yesterday. Well not completely, I remembered a few times throughout the day, but was either playing with James or getting things done around the house, and didn't want to take my computer out. I kept thinking that I'll do it later. But, I never did.

Fast forward to 3 a.m. I woke from a deep sleep remembering that I never posted yesterday. :( I immediately felt super down about it because my goal was to write for all 31 days in March. I was up for a while thinking of how I can NOT miss anymore slicing days. I need to plan ahead and write/schedule my weekend posts early. Life is busy, but this challenge is important to me, so I need to make sure I prioritize it. :) Does anyone else wake up in the middle of the night thinking of things you forgot or need to do?

sol18 #9: wiggle it, tug it, ahhh!!!

There we sat, watching this little one wiggle her tooth with her tongue. It was so close to falling out. She couldn't focus on anything else but moving it around. So we did what we do best and encouraged her to wiggle and tug. Not even 5 seconds later, her tooth was in her hand! We cheered, clapped, and the largest toothless smile spread across her face. Mission: accomplished!

sol18 #8: where's your bow?

There is a second grade student that wears the prettiest bows everyday. They are big, beautiful, and she has one to match every outfit. #goals I look forward to seeing her in her class, the hallway, or out at recess to get a good look at her bow choice for the day. 

Yesterday in the lunchroom as the students were getting cleaned up and ready to go outside, I popped over to talk to her. As I got closer, I noticed that her bow wasn't in her hair. She saw me coming and quickly slipped on her hat. Take a look at what she did with her bow. My goodness this little girl is adorable!

sol18 #7: yes, I'm crying!!!

Put the puzzle together, take the puzzle apart, build a tower, knock it down, read 10 books, dance to a song, go downstairs to play, come back up...

All in a matter of 10 minutes. I have a busy toddler. He NEVER sits still.

Except the other day, he climbed on the couch next to me, linked his arm into mine, pulled the blanket over us, pointed to my phone and said, "Pish" (his word for pictures). 

James loves looking at pictures and watching videos of himself. So for 15 minutes we sat, watched "old" videos of when James was teeny, looked at recent pictures of James playing outside, and I cried. 

My husband came out of his office, looked at us, was about to turn the other direction because he didn't want to ruin the moment, but said, "ARE YOU CRYING?!" 

Yes, I'm crying! Crying because my little boy is actually sitting still, crying because he's showing affection, crying because he's no longer a baby, crying because we need to take more videos of him, crying because I never knew I could love so much... 

sol18 #6: can I ask you a personal question?

On Friday, we had an author visit our school, and today, the mayor came to read to our second graders. They were fantastic experiences for our students to get to interact with "celebrities." As with all guest visits, there is always time for a question/answer session. For some reason, a nervous feeling comes over me during this portion, because you just never know what will come out of kids' mouths!

"What kind of dog do you have?"

"Do you go on vacation?"

"How did you get into your career?"

"How many kids do you have?"

"What does your wife do?"

"What else do you do for fun?"

"How old are you?"

At first, I thought, "Oh, no... all these personal questions." But then I reflected on them and thought about a 7-8 year old. This is their way of connecting with an adult they've never met. By relating to this person, they will be able to remember this experience, even if they only remember what kind of dog he/she has!

sol18 #5: tales of a wife with a husband who travels & works from home (part 1)

My husband, Jim, travels for work 1-2 weeks every month. But when he's home, his office is 5 steps off our kitchen. :) While I absolutely dread when he's away, the trade off to work from home can't be beat.

Jim is home this week, thank goodness! We went out to an early breakfast, grocery shopped, and then had a vaccine appointment for James. I'm so lucky that Jim is always able to go with us to the doctor. I physically cannot even look at the nurse as she's administering the shot. It breaks my heart and I get tears in my eyes every time. Thankfully "Dada" is always there to calm James down with a hug, snack, and eventually something silly to make James laugh. :)

sol18 #4: new {wagon} wheels

James got a wagon for Christmas and it was finally warm enough to bring it up from the basement and go for a spin!

It was pure joy when we strapped him in and the biggest smile spread across his face. We walked for a while, looking back every minute or two at our happy boy whose chubby cheeks were shaking every time we went over a bump. 

We headed back home, pulled up the driveway, and began to unstrap him. He immediately started signing, "more, more" because he wanted to keep going. It was the cutest and saddest thing at the same time! Hopefully we'll be able to make it back outside tomorrow before the winter weather advisory hits us! Hope everyone had a fabulous and relaxing Sunday. :)

 

sol18 #3: waking up early is my jam

I've always been an early riser. I take after my dad, who takes after his dad. Up before the sun shines to enjoy some quiet time and get house chores done, so we can make the most of the day.

Since James was born 18 months ago, I really love my quiet (weekend) mornings. I try to balance the couple hours I have to myself by slowly drinking coffee, watching the news and reading, with running around like a chicken with my head cut off to get the dishwasher unloaded, start laundry, fold laundry (that usually doesn't get done) ;) and prepare any food we'll need for the day, so mealtimes are easier. #momlife

This morning is a little different. I've parked myself at my dining room table, the sun beginning to peek through the window. I'm going through my camera roll on my phone (photos are some of my inspiration for slices), and I'm writing. Dishes haven't been put away, laundry hasn't been switched over, but this quiet writing time is the perfect start to my day.

Have a lovely Saturday, everyone!

sol18 #2: You get a compliment, and you get a compliment...

The last couple of days, a precious 3rd grader has knocked on my door, come into my office, and gave me sweet compliments in the form of poetry, song, and letters. She said she's on a mission to deliver more compliments to people everyday. Umm, yes. Let's all take note.

Yesterday, she came in and sang this awesome song,

You help us read, read, read,

You help us smile, smile, smile,

You help us laugh, laugh, laugh!

Little moments like this make my day and remind me to spread the love!

sol18 #1: I can't teach math higher than 3rd grade, except when...

I had to sub in a fifth grade classroom the other day, and whenever I am in a classroom, I always get reeeeaaallly nervous when it's time for math. I'm terrible at math, other than basic computation, some fractions, and simple story problems, therefore teaching anything higher than a 3rd grade level in math is challenging for me.

I prefaced the lesson with, "Ok friends, the highest grade I've ever taught was 2nd grade, so my knowledge of 5th grade math is a little rusty. Be patient with me."

The kids gave me a "Sure, whatever" look and began their practice problems.

I began circling the room, asking pairs of students how they were doing and if anyone needed help. So far, so good. Five minutes passed, everyone's still working fabulously and moving along. Ten minutes passed, same thing.

Around 15 minutes into the lesson, students began raising their hands about needing some support with this problem, "5/6 of the letters in the group are vowels. What letters can comprise the whole group?"

Yessss, I thought to myself. This is a problem I can solve (partly because it's fractions, and partly because it is literacy-related).

Since this question was becoming a common issue, I realized that I needed to address this to the whole group.

There I stood, at the front of the room, confidently supporting students to come up with a solution to this question. Phew.

After that, the students continued working quietly with their partners, no one needed any more major support, and one girl whispered to me, "See, Mrs. Jantz, you can teach math."